by Tom Blair
Columnist

Yes, I do gripe a lot about the shape our country is in. I pick on corrupt politicians, money grubbing military contractors and our money waste, but I do love America. There’s not a better place to live… yet, but we certainly have our share of weirdness

I was doing a little research on finding out why we are different in America. I wanted to look at the web for some humor about in, so I typed in “Only in America” and it listed OVER 35 MILLION such sites. Just about everyone I looked at had these, and I am sure you’ve seen many of them; Like, only in America… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance and drugstores make the sick and elderly walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

In America we are known to order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke and we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Many of us use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America… do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures.’

We all complain and mention how stupid it is, but we continue to buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight and why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons.

But some of the smartest people don’t get the credit for uttering some of the coolest sayings… things you want to cut out and paste on the wall!

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. And why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t and of course Politicians and diapers have one thing in common, they should be changed often and for the same reason.

Materialism is buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people that don’t matter. And finally, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

Tom “Road” Blair

Website: www.tomroadblair.com