A Satirical look at one of the true Christmas Classics!
There are a lot of fabulous Christmas songs. Some have been remade by hundreds of recording artists. The most famous in my mind would be Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” and a very close second would be “The Christmas Song” written by Mel Torme. Probably the version most of us are familiar with is sung by the legendary Nat King Cole in 1946. Now I was looking at the lyrics and thinking maybe this song needs an update.
“Chestnuts roasting on an open Fire”- well in 1944, when this song was written, that may have been the big thing to do at Christmas time but I have been around for a few of these Christmas holidays and I have yet to be at anyone’s house were they’ve roasted chestnuts at Christmas, or any other time of year for that matter. Maybe “A Christmas Story on the DVD”. Yeah that’s good!
“Jack Frost nipping at your nose”- I was always told to keep my scarf over my nose so that would never happen to me. And here in our neck of the woods, “Jack Frost” bites hard…he doesn’t nip. I knew some old-timers who took a nip or two but that’s completely different.
“Yuletide Carols being sung by a choir”- We all go to various locations for concerts now, but I remember as a kid, the Moorhead High School Carolers sang while walking down our street in the Morningside addition of Moorhead. I’ll never forget Mom calling us to the window to watch.
“And folks dress up like Eskimos”- No! Never happened! Oh we dressed warm with us kids in snow pants and boots with mittens and scarves made by Grandma, or our favorite auntie! But we never had the kind of cold weather outfits they have at the Arctic Circle. We never had a fur coat, hats or boots.
“Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe, help to make the season bright”- Maybe lefse, lutefisk (did I really type that) pie and cookies should be worked in. Mistletoe can stay I guess but I don’t see as much of it anymore.
“Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow, will find it hard to sleep tonight”- No they won’t! If you open presents Christmas Eve, they are going to rip through that wrapping, play with those toys, some may break then they’ll eat those chocolate covered cherries from Aunt Bertha and go to sleep before you know it.
“They know that Santa’s on his way, he’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh”- All true! Don’t touch this line.
“And every mother’s child is gonna spy, to see if reindeer really know how to fly”- Again opening presents, playing with toys and eating. They’ll be sound asleep! Mom can show them the tracks in the morning.
“And so I’m offering this simple phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two”- this line is good but we are living longer now so maybe stretch it out “to kids from one to 1-0-2.”
“Although it’s been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you”-
Just a note “The Christmas Song” was written in 1944 by Robert Wise and Mel Torme, (who I consider one of the best “scat” performers ever) in the middle of a hot summer. They were trying to get their minds off the heat by thinking of cool things and the rest is history.
A little fun on a Christmas Classic! Next time we’ll analyze “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”! (Just kidding)
Happy Holidays.