Those of us who have children, know the joys of parenthood. For those who don’t, here is what you are missing!

Decor:

Interior – Dora the Explorer posters. An alphabet-covered fridge. Potty chairs, stools, and tons of bath toys in the bathroom. Crayon on the walls. Cute stick people drawn by your three-year-old on rose colored construction paper glued to an inside closet door as a “super big surprise!” (Maybe that was just for me.) Stuffed animals… and more stuffed animals. Proudly displayed grades of a recently aced exam.

Exterior – A sandbox with a million plastic buckets and mini shovels. Bikes thrown about. Squirt guns in the grass. Tonka trucks parked in the driveway. Jump ropes tied to a tree branch. (Tarzan swing?)

Atmosphere:

Depending on the number of children in your home, the volume and frequency can differ… yelling, fighting, screaming, crying, tattling, off-key singing, horribly loud music, movies – again horribly loud, pounding on the floor while running, smells of which you cannot find the source, stress and chaos. At night, when the lights are dim and the little angels are asleep in their rooms, just as you sit down on the couch to watch a quiet movie with your spouse, you hear yet another yell, “MOM!!!! I need a drink of WAAADDDDERRRR.”

Food:

A staple in every home with children is cereal – massive amounts are consumed! Popsicles are often stuffed in a parent’s freezer. Making one meal complaint free is hard to come by. Many times I hear, “Seriously, broccoli again!?” To which I respond with a mirrored attitude, “Yes, it is food – eat it!” -you’d think they’d learn by now. Reserved for especially bad days when I have zero patience to hear whining and complaints, I make mac n’ cheese, hotdogs and corn. What a disgusting combination of food, but a truly a glorious gold mine once in a while.

Alone time:

Ha-ha! Really?!

Alone time with your spouse:

Not gonna happen.

Sleep:

Your sleep habits will NEVER be the same again. When you have an infant, you are up every couple of hours for feedings and diaper changes. With toddlers, you are up at least once a night for wet beds, drinks of water and nightmares. With school-aged kids, you are up at least once a night because sometime during mid-slumber you realized that you didn’t pack a lunch, or you realized some scheduling conflict, more drinks of water, more nightmares and the need to spoil teenage attempts to sneak out at midnight (this was me as a teen… sorry, mom). When your children become young adults, you are up a couple nights a week hoping your child is making good decisions. You’re still listening for the door when they get home at night. You wonder if they will ever declare a major. Finally, as an adult, you sleep through the night, but wake early in the morning to silence… missing how you had kids at home to worry over. Staying up all night can drive you crazy, but our kids are only little for so long and we will miss it all one day… I try to convince myself of this nightly!

You wonder why anyone would become a parent? Well, because it rocks, that’s why! True, you have to clean up the yard and get the crayon off the wall by the end of the day. Yes, you will be so tired that you can barely see straight by 2pm, and if you hear one more kid screaming you might lose it! But, at any moment during the day you will get a big hug and kiss from each of your kids. They will tell you how much they love you and that you are their favorite person in the world. You will be asked to play with them countless times every day. When they are older, they will ask you for guidance and truly want to know your opinion on things that matter. You have the opportunity to teach them everything, and they will teach you… love… patience… tolerance… and the true reason why earplugs were invented.

If you have any comments, please email
Alicia-Hagen@hotmail.com.