“Everybody’s crazy but me and thee… and I sometimes wonder about thee.”

NONE

If you read a daily newspaper or go online to find the most updated news, you may have already concluded that 2011 is going to be a doozey for all those leaning left of sane.

For instance: the woman who has joined a “Happy Days Are Near” Christian group promoting the Apocalypse. According to this platoon of plebs, the doomsday date is May 21, 2011.

How this particular date was determined is definitely way beyond my realm of understanding, especially since the New Testament book of Revelation is anything but coherent to anyone, including Bible scholars. But for all of you who fall into the category of “better safe than sorry” subscribers, you might reconsider making summer vacation plans.

Then, there’s the 91-year-old lady in Pennsylvania who was found living with her embalmed sister and husband. The county repossessed and placed the bodies in the local morgue. Missing her beloved ones so, Ms. Stevens is now having a mausoleum built in her backyard, where her sister and husband will eventually be laid to rest. And the county she lives in is agreeing to this! Needless to say, at 91 years old, she will probably be joining them in the not-too-distant future (who knows? — maybe on May 21).

Try and imagine the spiel and fast talking whatever realtor luckless enough to draw this property is going to need — “Oh, and yes, there are extra buildings on the property. No, not exactly for storage. Well, not unless you have a mother-in-law you would like permanently stored.”

Yeah, 2011 is going to be an interesting year.

IT’S EVEN SMALLER

With everything connected today, the world we “boomers” and those older grew up in is connected in ways most of us could never have imagined.

I remember going to a science fair in fourth grade and seeing a model of what the phones in the 21st century would look like and what they’d be able to do. They would be able to give a live picture of who you were talking to on the other end. Personally, even as a 9-year-old, I didn’t like that idea. What if I wanted to answer the phone but wasn’t dressed or had curlers in my hair?

And anyone who knows me well already knows how much I like yakking on the phone — not much. Today we can reach anyone just about anywhere. So, it wasn’t a real big surprise when an old friend of mine from 40 years ago emailed me to give his buddy Coach Craig Bohl a message: “If you can’t slow it down, Craig, at least stop getting caught!” Coach Bohl, that’s from your favorite Harley Dealer, Dave Fisher, in Nebraska.

TIME vs. AGE

KFGO’s Joel Heitkamp asked an interesting question recently about whether “younger” parents are better parents than “older” parents. His theory is that older parents, those over 35 with younger children, don’t have the same energy levels that younger parents in their twenties have. Amy, his partner on-air, disagreed. I honestly don’t know. It would seem younger parents might have the energy levels to do more physical activities, but given the obesity rate among children today, are parents actually engaging in playtime activities any more than their peer parents who are older? What about patience and putting the child before themselves? I only know had I had a baby before I did at age 27, I don’t think I would have had near the patience I did. I’m very glad we waited. At 27, I was very ready to have a baby and to do and give whatever I needed to do that was the best for our first child. And like many growing up today, I knew virtually nothing about babies or child-rearing. I never babysat as a teenager, nor were there any younger children in my life as I was the youngest. In fact, before our first was born, I’d never even held an infant in my life. And from what I’m hearing, I think that’s true for many young adults today — certainly far more than when my generation was growing up and beginning families.

But is age the real issue regarding better parenting? As a childcare provider for over 10 years, I heard over and over again from parents how busy their lives were, between full-time jobs, outside family obligations, carting child “A” and child “B” back and forth to sports organizations for practice and games, school activities, friends’ birthday parties, often not sharing meals together but grabbing a burger from “Micky D’s” on the route to or from somewhere. Back in those days, the ’80s and ’90s, the catch phrase for alleviating parental guilt for not spending near enough time with their child was hitting on a ten-minute or thirty-minute span of “quality time” the parent was planning.

Most of the children who were in my home childcare were kids of upper-middle-income parents who had careers in television, education and business. All were very responsible people and all loved their children as much as any parent should. Some were older parents; some were on the younger side of 30. A few were single parents sharing custody; most were intact, two-parent families. And the majority never spent as much time with their child in a week as I did.

The phrase “quality time” was a farce then, and I’m willing to bet whatever the term or phrase used today is, it’s still a farce. Children don’t get to know or understand who their parents really are in half-hour or half-day increments of time when everything is fun or during a special time set aside. Children get to know and understand their parents only when the parent allows them to, and that has to include bad days, good days, crisis times and celebrations.

I understand today’s economy rarely allows for a one-parent income. It would seem it takes two incomes for a family of four or more to make ends meet. However, I also remember many of the moms of my childcare children telling me they could “never stay at home.” I never asked, but I always wondered, Why did they have the child in the first place if they couldn’t handle the responsibility? And yes, it most certainly is an awesome responsibility to raise a child, then and perhaps even more so today.

So, perhaps the question isn’t whether a person is not old enough or is too old to become a parent. Perhaps the real question should be: DO YOU HAVE THE TIME ?

All comments and questions are welcomed @ sooasheim@aol.com.

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