by Tom Blair
Columnist

There’s a lot of it going around during this political season, but some people are experts at doing their best to hurt others on a regular basis and do it without appearing to say bad about them.

I heard a moderator of a radio show talking about a lady running for office and saying things like, “she isn’t really a bad candidate and I can’t really say anything bad about her, after all, maybe it wasn’t all her fault that her kids grew up bad and one did some prison time but then again it might not effect her judgment much if she somehow did get elected.” He was trying to make it sound like he was a fair person, but certainly wanted to hurt the lady that was running.

You hear this kind of stuff all the time from some people and it is really unfair to say something bad about someone who isn’t around to defend themselves. I mean, if you don’t like someone, say so. Don’t try to make it sound like you’re paying them a compliment while you’re stabbing them in the back.

Some things like, “ I like John, he has some ethics issues and isn’t very bright but- Blah, blah, blah” or “Bill seems like a pretty good guy, there’s just something about him and I don’t trust him, you know what I mean?”

Some women are known to say something to a co-worker like, “ I wonder if Joan has any real friends” or “I’ve heard some things about Joan, but I don’t want to repeat them.”

It’s character assassination by deception. Inferring something is bad about someone without really saying it or having a basis for it. It’s really a form of lying, isn’t it?

I recall saying to a friend of mine, “ya know Ray sure seems like a nice guy, doesn’t he?” to which my friend replied, “yeah, I guess, if he would just treat his wife a little better.” My friend didn’t like Ray and didn’t want me to like him either. I found out later that Ray loved his wife very much and always treated her like a queen. My friend didn’t even know Ray’s wife.

Another classic one is, “was it you that was telling me about Larry’s drinking? Larry’s drinking? It must have been someone else who told me that, never Mind!”

When you badmouth someone, it NEVER makes you look good. As a matter of fact, if the truth was known, it makes YOU look bad. I guess that old saying, “if ya can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all.”

tTom “Road” Blair

Website: www.tomroadblair.com