Let the Great Beaver War begin.

The Fargo Park District, upset because beavers are gnawing trees on grounds overseen by the Fargo Park District, has decided to cull the beaver population near Trefoil Park and Lemke Park. Both are on the Red River, which is teeming with beavers.

“Ever since I’ve been here, we’ve known there’s been beaver damage to our trees,” parks director Dave Leker was quoted by The Forum. “It’s just gradually, over the past five years, gotten worse.”

And so the park district will have the U.S. Department of Agriculture cull the population.

“To cull” in this case means “to kill enough beavers until which time those in charge of the Fargo Park District decide enough beavers have been killed to save valuable trees on grounds overseen by the Fargo Park District.”

At that point, the culling will stop.

And then, beavers being beavers, the remaining beavers will get busy filling the void left by their fallen brethren. Eventually, the beaver population will re-populate to pre-cull levels.

At which time, presumably, the culling will begin again.

It’s a losing battle, which the park district surely knows, but what is a government agency to do when trees are being felled where the good citizens of Fargo can actually see the damage?

This is where the beavers made, literally, a fatal mistake. If only they’d recognized the boundaries of Trefoil and Lemke parks and avoided gnawing trees on that land. If only they’d been wise enough to gnaw trees five yards or 10 yards or 15 yards outside the boundaries of the parks, they could’ve lived long, healthy and productive beaver lives. Instead, because they had the audacity to chew on trees on land that humans use for recreation.

For that, they’ll pay the ultimate price.

Don’t mistake my sarcasm for some sort of animal-rights manifesto. Humans and critters must co-exist and generally that means humans flexing their evolutionary muscle if need be. That’s fine. If an animal is causing monetary damage or is a possible physical threat to people, then by all means take of the problem with a well-placed trap (or bullet). I have no issue with that.

But all too often we the people apply human standards to animals that don’t know or care about our standards. They are simply doing what they’ve done for 10 million years to survive. Sometimes that conflicts with what we expect of them. And then there’s trouble.

We really love seeing deer in our town. Until they eat our flowers. Then somebody has to do something.

Wild turkeys are really cool. Until they poop on our sidewalks. Then they have to go.

Beavers are amazing animals. Until they kill a tree in a park in which we walk our dogs. Then they’ve crossed a line.

We love wildlife, but only if it has human values. The second it doesn’t, it has to pay a price.

I find the Fargo Park Districts war on beavers particularly entertaining because I spend a fair amount of time walking near the Red River. Last fall, I spent many days in my boat on the river while fishing for catfish. There are signs of beavers everywhere along the banks of the river. Everywhere.

Nary is a word said about the hundreds of beaver-felled trees nobody sees. Out of sight, out of mind. But the moment beavers gnaw on a few trees in a park, there will be blood. It’s all so silly.

The Great Beaver War will likely begin sometime this fall.

Leker, the parks director, summed it up thusly: “It’s kind of a no-win situation. You’re going to have people that, you know, are rooting for the beavers, and you’re going to have people that are rooting for the trees.”

This is a case where the critters are doing nothing wrong, other than being critters.

I’m rooting for the beavers.

(Mike McFeely is a talk-show host on 790 KFGO in Fargo-Moorhead. He can be heard 2-5 p.m. Follow him on Twitter @MikeMcFeelyKFGO.)