The last time I said I was running for president… you never voted for me, No one did, so I’m throwing my hat in the ring once more. I figure since things are so screwed up now, I’ll have a better chance.

First, we get rid of all the freeloaders, you know, the ones who don’t work or the ones who don’t pay any taxes. Wait a minute, I can’t do that, I’d loose half of the country’s voters. In 2009, according to a memo from the Joint Committee on Taxation, a bi-partisan Congressional committee, only 49 percent of Americans owed money on their Federal income tax returns.

So yes, it’s true that more than half of all Americans paid no Federal income tax in the tax year 2009, and the number of people who did pay taxes was even lower — 51 percent, not 53 percent. For tax year 2011, the non-partisan Tax Policy Center estimates that only 54 percent of Americans paid Federal income tax. (And that’s as of 4 years ago…it’s worse now!)

Forget that, I would end our involvement in all these military “Conflicts” we are involved in, after all, those people have been fighting since the beginning of time…we ain’t gonna solve nothing. Whoops, that may not work either, not only the ammo companies, weapons builders and airplane builders won’t vote for me…neither will all those multi-billion dollar private contractors for the military.

I could promise to close the border and ship out all those people who are here illegally, that would save a lot of money. The cost of harboring illegal immigrants in the United States is a staggering $113 billion a year — an average of $1,117 for every “native-headed” household in America — according to a study conducted by the Federation for American Immigration Reform. And we know that’s much more now.

An estimated $52 billion is spent on schooling the children of illegals. Nearly all those costs are absorbed by state and local governments.

Maybe I could give them all amnesty?

A study by the Heritage Foundation has found that after amnesty, current unlawful immigrants would receive $9.4 trillion in government benefits and services and pay more than $3 trillion in taxes over their lifetimes. That leaves a net fiscal deficit (benefits minus taxes) of $6.3 trillion. That deficit would have to be financed by increasing the government debt or raising taxes on U.S. citizens. I better back off that notion, I might lose 53 Million Hispanic votes…not counting 11 million illegal votes.

No…I got it, I’ll make a law that ANY elected leader who misleads or lies under oath to the public will be immediately suspended without pay, investigated by the FBI and given a

“SPEEDY” trial. If found guilty, he or she will serve jail time, lose their job and all their retirement and benefits.

I’d make all those who have a lot of money pay more taxes to support those who don’t want to work…never mind that, that’s what the government is trying to do now. O.K., I’d get rid of the IRS and all the politicians who do nothing but talk and nothing to better our country. It’s sure gonna be lonely up there in Washington.