LEARNING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
Emily Welker recently reported on the sentencing of a 21-year- old for attempting to strangle his girlfriend with a phone cord, then severely beating her with a handle from a car jack. As if that wasn’t enough torture, this creep spray painted her face! The defendant’s name is Mason Seaborn and, according to his mother, “he’s a kind, gentle, loving person.” When Judge Borgen asked if Seaborn had anything to say or wanted to speak, Seaborn apparently felt an apology was not in order, as he said nothing.
Seaborn had no “significant” criminal priors and, again, according to his mother, “the incident was out of character for her son.” She went on to explain that Mason may have been “influenced by the alcohol and synthetic marijuana” he consumed that night. My first reaction when reading that was, yeh, it very well may have been. BUT SO WHAT? Does that mean she would agree to not sentencing anyone to jail for driving under the influence of booze and arrested for a DUI? Does that mean someone who kills another person in “the heat of the moment” or during a fight should not be responsible for their actions and pay the price of assault? NO! Of course it doesn’t.
Sometime between 1970 and where we are today in this hyper-sensitive “I’m ok, you’re ok” society we now all live in, the message we seemingly have forgotten to pass along and make perfectly clear to the generations of young adults today is: EVERYTHING in life has some kind of consequence. Sometimes it’s a good one, sometimes it’s not so good and sometimes it’s just down right awful. And the best way to steer clear of not having to answer to the bad, irresponsible actions is to learn how to be responsible for the actions we take, how we treat others and, above all that, what we do will in some way, someday come back to haunt us.
It makes no difference whether Mason Seaborn was high as a kite on incense or alcohol or cocaine or anything else. Drug use, be it meth or incense or crack or alcohol or anything else that alters the brain when willingly consumed by needle or smoking or tablet should NEVER be an excuse for anyone to beat another or do harm of any kind to another individual — regardless what the person’s “normal, in character” persona might be. I know my mother would certainly have never accepted anything I might have ever done wrong because I altered my brain chemistry and couldn’t remember doing it. If anything, she would have been the first in line to let me know whatever happened “this is the price you will pay for your misdeeds and you have it coming” and she did me a huge favor being the hard-ass she was. There were a whole lot of times my mother’s voice crept into my subconscious or, worse, my older sister with that sad look of disappointment on her face would pop into my head and believe me, I know I changed my mind or didn’t go through with some idiotic plan I had. Even the thought of having to face one or both of them if I got caught simply was not worth that much agony or having to listen to the lectures over and over and reminders of what I’d done.
Frankly speaking, nine years in the can for what Mason Seaborn did to his girlfriend is a light sentence, as far as I’m concerned. Yes, I have empathy for his mother. As a mother, I can certainly identify with the pain of knowing your child has done something he or she will literally pay for the rest of his or her life. Mason will be out in nine years (or less perhaps) but his criminal record will not go away and no matter what he does or where he goes for the remainder of his life, this will follow him. That would break any parent’s heart. But standing on the ground of “it wasn’t completely his fault” won’t help Mason in jail or when he does finally leave prison.
We have someone we know well who became involved in drugs as a teenager, committed some petty crimes that he was slapped on the wrist for and eventually he committed a much larger crime of identity theft and ended up in a federal prison for five years. During his time in prison, he sobered up, took advantage of the library available to inmates, worked on his bachelor’s degree and learned computers even better than he knew them when he went into prison. After five years, he was released. Our friend has been out for a few years now and is doing well. He has the maturity to realize everything he does will be scrutinized and trust is not a commodity to be taken lightly. At first his attitude was self-pity and blaming everyone and everything but the neighbor’s dog for his plight. Today, he’s a different person and his attitude is completely the opposite. It was heart-breaking for his family when he was sentenced to a federal prison — and the original sentence was for eight years, not five. But with some help and learning to look inwardly about what he had done, he realized the only person to blame was himself.
I’m really tired of hearing the excuses made by bullies, criminals and thugs who are caught and sent to prison for years or even short jail sentences. There’s a coined phrase about “if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.” This should be taught to each and every person alive from the time they can walk — and it should be taught incrementally with each minor infraction a child tries to pull off while growing up. No one is perfect and no one should be expected to be. But taking responsibility for the wrongs we do should always be expected.
If Mason Seaborn is lucky, he, too, will learn to accept responsibility for his actions and learn the lesson we all eventually have to face: no one can force any of us into doing anything immoral, dishonest or criminal.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROL NORBY APRIL 16 !
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