When a child is physically abused, the emotional pain is terrible and lasts forever, but the physical wounds, in most cases, heal and go away. When a child is obese, the emotional pain, too, lasts forever, but the physical consequences are often life-long. Go with me here… illnesses and conditions such as heart disease and diabetes don’t go away once you have them. Knowing this, would you compare the two types of issues? Can you really compare physical child abuse to child obesity… say it is abusive? When you throw in the long-term physical and emotional health issues that could have been easily prevented through simple diet and exercise, I think on some level you can. Children who are overweight can have long term health issues, but if they are later able to maintain a healthy weight, they will be more likely to be healthier than those who continued down the unchanged path.
While sitting in Walmart’s parking lot the other day, I noticed that Grand Forks, including the rest of the nation, is getting larger… and I don’t mean by populace. Watching the sea of unhealthy people walking in and out of Walmart truly bothered me. Out of the fifty or sixty people moving about, only a handful were of normal, healthy weight. I try not to be a judgmental person as I am certainly not perfect, but I have to say – wow! There are few excuses for how heavy we are as a community… physical limitations would be a valid excuse; however, my guess is that issue didn’t apply to most.
Some say people become overweight because of genetics, while others say it is a lifestyle pattern that developed in childhood and continued into adulthood. I can see both playing in. But as for patterns, everyone can understand how this pattern theory could be applicable… just look at the obvious ongoing patterns in abusive families – lasting many generations. There is a real fear thinking about any child raised by a parent who was physically and emotionally abused as a child. Because of the obvious patterns in abusive families, we know that history will repeat itself unless someone steps in to challenge the parent’s idea of normalcy – to teach good behavior and reverse what was considered “normal” within his realm of “normal” while growing up as a child in an abusive home. We, as a community, have services in place to step in to help families stop the repeating abusive patterns – to protect the children physically and to prevent passing down long-term emotional scars.
In the same way our community protects children from physical abuse and its patterns, shouldn’t we step in for the children who are in families of the extreme overweight or obese as well? Not in an accusatory or negative manner, but in a positive and helpful way – to teach. We know that obesity causes long term illnesses and extreme long-term emotional scars for all those effected. If the child is obese, he gets taunted, is unable to perform simple daily tasks because of his size and is generally unhappy because of the lack of self-esteem. If the child is of healthy weight, but has one or both parents that are obese, the child may be extremely embarrassed by the parents’ situation or constantly concerned about the parents’ health. Healthy eating patterns are established in early childhood, observed by the children in their home. One can assume that children of obese parents are not observing healthy eating patterns or do not have healthy foods available to them. History repeats itself.
Now, understand me when I say that I don’t blame parents for their child’s obesity issue, or their own. There could be several factors contributing to weight issues, but it is a generally accepted fact that if you eat X amount of calories and exercise X amount of times each day, a healthy weight would absolutely be maintained. I think the issue is excess availability to junk foods and lack of education about exercise and healthy eating habits… because of income or like I said earlier, the parents handed down the values and eating/food issues.
Why change won’t happen:
• Because an unhealthy weight is normal within
the family dynamics.
• Because of social norms – scary when the
majority of people have weight issues!
• Because of the lack of education.
• Because of the lack of motivation –
possibly depression or low self-esteem.
Why change must happen:
• An increased chance of diabetes.
• An increased chance of heart issues.
• If you are overweight, an increased chance your child will mimic your habits and walk in your footsteps… if nothing else, this should really stir in your gut.
How to change:
There are MANY parks in Grand Forks – get to one. Don’t drive… walk or bike there. If you live within the city, you are within at least 2 miles of one. Take your kids with you. Ignore their whining – you are the parent. When you get there, don’t sit down and celebrate your victory. Pick up a football and throw it around with your kids or your spouse. Get moving! After thirty minutes of exercise, you will feel amazing – trust me! That feeling is a natural high caused by endorphins, and if you do it for long enough you will start seeing the pounds come off. While you won’t notice much of a drop over the course of a week, try it for a week and see how you feel! I bet you will continue to do it and make a habit of it.
Join an accountability group and stick to it. Help each other become healthy again. Instead of going out for Starbucks, meet at the park with your kids for a picnic. Bring water. Or, play family volleyball. Feel comfortable when about talking about your weight. Seriously, just talk about it and get it out there.
I had a mindset that I held onto for years – that things should be easy, and if you are working yourself to a point of sweating or an increased heartbeat, you are doing something wrong and need to figure out another way to do it. I would say to myself – IT SHOULD BE EASY. But that is not the case. When your body gets worked – it is a GREAT thing. Your body is an incredible machine that is meant to be pushed to the edge. God gave you what you have – use it!
If you have any comments, please email
Alicia-Hagen@hotmail.com.